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Hello Parents,

While it may not seem like a big deal on the surface, one thing we have discovered is the “words” your child uses are powerful and life-changing. The story we are constantly repeating will become what, and who we are. It will become our identity. One of the most powerful lessons we can teach our children is how they talk about themselves has a lot to do with what they will become! The best part......we can consciously decide what that story will be!!  They can help develop an attitude of hard work, perseverance and grit, which ultimately leads to discipline,

You may have also noticed there are specific words and phrases we use repeatedly at the dojo. By the time your child has been at the dojo a while they would have said “TRY MY BEST!” or I NEVER GIVE UP, and FOCUS WITH MY EYES, FOCUS WITH MY EARS, FOCUS WITH MY BODY!! hundreds, if not thousands of times. This is not by accident.  We are in control of our destiny. 

The first step to ensuring we are aligning our identity properly, NOTICE:

We must be constantly vigilant in the words we choose and what we are saying. First just become acutely aware of what you, and your child are saying and the words we choose to use. Just focus a little more, and you might be amazed at what you hear. This will give you a very good indication of how they think, and what they think of.

While you are at it, next just notice what you say and how you say it. Most of the time we find a young child will mirror much of what their parents say. Remember we, the parents, are the number 1 educators in our child’s lives. They are constantly watching and copying what we do!

The second step, DECIDE:

Once you are aware of the words you and your child use then just make a simple decision:  “Are the words and how we talk in line with the identity we wish for ourselves? Or a proper reflection of who we want to be?” or “Do we need to change the words we use and how we talk about ourselves and the world/people around us a little?”

For instance, does the phrase “I can’t” come up often? Does the focus tend to be more on why something can’t be done or, is it more of an “I can do anything!!!!!”

Watch how they talk about school.  Is it positive and looking forward to going to school?  The words you simply cannot let a child say ever is “I hate school!”

Here is a big one.  How many of us know someone or have heard your child criticizing, complaining or blaming?  Blaming is a big one because you give up control. You give your success or failure to someone or something else. If your child says “Well, I just don’t like the teachers!” or “I don’t like my teammates!” later it just turns into “I hate my boss!” and “I don’t like my co-workers!”  They will start getting in the habit of finding a way to blame someone else for failing and saying, “It was not my fault!”

The last step is to, ACT:

Consciously choose your words to suit your identity. Try to catch yourself every time when you are being self-defeating or using phrases and words not conducive to you, or your child’s success.

So, what is your identity??? Is it one that promotes positivity and is the glass half full or one of negativity and is the glass half empty? These things can make a huge impact on your child. Remember you are the person they emulate and try to be like the most!

Yours truly for Awesome and Amazing Kids,

Sensei Randy Kopke



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